I know this doesn't do justice to orientation and the immense amount of fun I get from it but I feel too churned up inside to not write it out. 
Why?
Why?

I am not emo, merely worried.
I wonder how I can feel excited and not at ease at the same time.


Wake up, life's not always easy. I'm gonna hang in there (:

free-falling @ 12.41am

JIP's been alright so far, I'm having entirely mixed feelings about having entered jc. Thankfully I still have fourohfive people to hang out with, shiyun to walk to school with :D and having quite a fair bit of fun playing frisbee after school :D I will remember chopping seats in the pac after attendance taking and how everyone literally RUSHES out of the mph so eagerly, it's unbelievable. I have been relatively attentive in the talks :D except for ALL the econs talks which I apparently happen to sit in when I'm feeling sleepy, haha so I've been falling asleep in every one of them D: 

Now my biggest worry would be cca, signed up for floorball, frisbee, touch rug, street dance, interact and bio society, wanted to sign up for guitar in case I don't end up in any but there weren't any spots left so I might go find the teacher-in-charge or cca chair. Stupid issues, grahh. When I get over all of it, it would be such a relief. :D

Haven't gotten into any elective except the marine ecology one to st john island :D It sounds really fun but it's only 2 days :D this coming tuesday to wednesday :D hohoho! 

I'm so going to survive school.


ah the same sickening feeling albeit a little different this time. more cautious, less adventurous, is that what happens when you grow up? i'm not sure of myself anymore. sometimes i wish it happened, other times i wish i could stay out of everything. how long can i possibly wait? how would i know if the decision i made was right? what happens if i let go of an opportunity i will only come to regret later on? argh.

free-falling @ 1.27pm

School has started for most, thankfully I still have one week before open house. Went back to school today and saw, to my relief, a number of familiar faces, foveo, fedele and mr lim cheng puay, ms yeo!! and even hannah cheng! Plus the general office people and say for a few more haha who were back to do orientation stuff though sec 2 to 4 have no school today! Hahaha I knew it was hannah, but I didn't dare say it because it might be wrong and  I'm bad at faces heh. To me, rgs has become less familiar now I see more and more unfamiliar faces. The feeling is quite scary and empty actually. I went back for guitar practice, one more time before I have assessment next week, apparently O level higher chinese results are out next week. Argh. Guitar prac was good, managed to learn the stuff to be tested though it's kind of in a rush so not hoping much next week haha.

Might take up guitar lessons from mr chua this year, once I'm settled down for jc life. Hoping someone can take it up with me :D Gonna look around then, my mum doesn't seem too interested in letting me go for it, I myself am hesitant actually. But we'll see, I don't think I will be giving guitar up so quickly, but I don't plan to try for guitar ensemble in rj haha. My fingertips hurt now though, haven't practised in a long while, a good three months I can say. I haven't forgotten about my scales after all :D 

After guitar prac with grace, we went home together :D And I got home to pack my cupboard. It's in a better condition now but I still need to set aside ONE good long day to clear it clean and proper before school starts, not much time left I suppose. Need to pack all my sec 4 stuff proper and throw away things I don't need, if not even if I get 50 or a thousand cupboards, I won't be able to squeeze everything in. By the way, should I change pencil case? Haha :D

I'm pretty tired, will go sleep soon, school's starting, that feeling sucks. Anyway I'm watching some korean drama this few days and it's pretty good! Besides the fact that the guy's really cute, the plot is really cool too - not the usual love triangle thing haha.

I'm not over with SS501 :D Like a few of their songs, shall type out the english subs, credit to the guy who subbed it on youtube. I hope it's accurate heh.




Because I'm Stupid - SS501 (subbed by Yamaac)
I'm really, very foolish
I know of no one other than you
You're looking at someone else
Yet you have no idea of my feelings like this

I won't be in your days
I won't be in the memories either, however
Only you, I looked only at you
And the tears keep coming

As I watch you walking past
I'm still happy
Even yet you still don't know my heart
I should stop this and go

I really want to see the day
I'm withstanding the pain each day
'I love you' is playing on my lips
Alone once again, crying for you
Alone once again, missing for you
Baby I love you I'm waiting for you!

I won't be in your days
I won't be remembered either, however
Only you, I looked only at you
I'm making memories alone

Loving you is like having a beautiful wound
I look at your pretty smile also
But I cannot laugh with you

I'm thinking about you so much everyday
My heart is hurting in all these sad days
'I want to see you' is playing on my lips
Alone once again, crying for you
Alone once again, missing for you
Baby I love you, I'm waiting for you!

Bye bye never say goodbye
Even though I cannot hold you like this
I need you, I cannot say anything more, I want you
I keep on hoping too, I'll keep hoping

I really want to see the day
I'm withstanding the pain each day
'I love you' is playing on my lips
Alone once again, crying for you

I'm thinking about you so much everyday
My heart is hurting in all these sad days
'I want to see you' is playing on my lips
Alone once again, crying for you
Alone once again, missing for you
Baby I love you, I'm waiting for you!


night!

free-falling @ 1.20am

Going to head off for chem tuition in 5 mins ): reminds me that the year has started, no more free weekends, only good thing is that math tuition starts 16 jan haha (:

Anyway countdown was spent with family as usual and had the nice and awesome sparkling juice like every year. Had fun with primary 6 classmates before countdown and watched sherlock holmes, ate at ri ben cun! :D Managed to get my work cancelled last minute :D Headed for leonard's house after the movie and played a bit of cards before my bro came to pick me up :D Walked past my old inglewood house and realised that I miss it a lot, terribly in fact. And I miss russty a lot too, I don't want to regret the day he goes and I realise that I didn't take care of him properly and shower him the love he needed but my house is too small ): I can't even invite people over to my house, not like in inglewood but I won't go on, I'm already so fortunate.

Going to have to cancel work tmrw and next sunday as well, realised that econs tuition starts tmrw. Damn it. I'm going to be so out of touch with work, hopefully the aunties remember my face :D when I go back next friday and that I won't forget the procedures :D Gonna pack my bag now.

free-falling @ 3.02pm

Didn't have work for the past two days after 4 consecutive days of it :D Work's getting better, making more friends with the aunties, I'm less nervous before work and I change faster hahaha. I got a free subway cookie! Because I buy a lot of subway cookies, one before work on days I actually have work :D I recognise some team leaders there, some house man, some bar man, and some food servers too :D And I think I'm getting used to the work there and it's becoming more of a routine haha. 

Went for mr lau's and ms tsang's exchanging of wedding vows yesterday at rasa sentosa resort! :D It was so SWEET! Omg ms tsang cried halfway omg! Haha, fior went for batch dinner together at pizza hut and was super duper full. Got on a high on the mrt back home with jane, jessica, qiqi and joy :D Did stupid things and started laughing so hard :D Like pointing to the no durian sign on the mrt and say, ' No smelly things allowed on the train, JANE WHY ARE YOU HERE?' :D:D Hahaha! And jess went, 'I can see jane's face on the sign and the cross over her face!' Had quite a lot of fun :D

Today went out to far east :D Got my jc school blouse from bibi and baba at shaw centre too :D Mummy's helping me alter my skirt which is super duper long haha. Ate fried rice for dinner and headed for j8 after a while. I got a book from popular and I got a christmas present :D A 2010 planner yayy :D Just what I need for next year!

Anyway the year's coming to an end very very soon and I'll probably be too busy tomorrow to write so I'll do it today. Hmm reflecting on this year, I really have so many takeaways!

Starting from end of last year, preparing for orientation, house talk, house orientation and embracing myself for house captainship the following year. House is a very important part of my life and I've grown to love the people in house so much more! Thanks fingers for always being by my side! (haha our very fail morning meetings at 7am in pavilion I'll miss them so so much! Even though I'm always chiong-ing school work then or in zzz mode). I'll miss having endless discussions about the frustrating things that always crop up and spoil our year! I'll miss going to each other's house minus my small house which can't hold us D: Guitar hero dates, making farewell assembly presents together, shopping for doreamon shirts, all the stupid photos hahaha :D We really can have a lot a lot of funnn :D And I'll remember veron the mightily efficient one insisting that I always break the productive mood with my nonsense HAHA :D I'll remember all the house pracs, miss the sec ones! Miss cheering together as a house, cheering as house comm! And besides all the house events and swimathon (which rained omg damn), I'll remember the fourbluebestballetbuddies! Niu niu, alanna and lynn! Thanks for being the greatest support I could ever have and we could have never made it without anyone of you! I will miss saying 'RICHARDSONIANS ARE YOU READY?' or 'RGS ARE YOU READY?' Ahhhh D;

PBBBBB :D For being a great big part of my life for three whole entire years, how could I ever forget the bonds forged, the love that ties us together all under a big family! Even though I might have distanced a little this year, but fior has and will continue to live in my heart! And though I might not have been in touch with much pb work this year, I still love pb all the same. Buddies! PGT, evan, genevieve! I'll remember all the fun we had every board camp, every post-sli chalet, every informal farewell chalet! :D I will miss all the crazy stuff fior does like mission impossible during board camp this year when azira had a crush on john HAHAHA :D And making a hell lot of noise every we go and all the sleepovers haha :D love you guys fior and pb!

Guitar! :D I will miss all the sweet sweet juniors who make practices so much funner and livelier :D I will miss mr chua's nagging hahaha and batchmates! We can go really crazy especially when we are left alone hahaha, singing angel's wings and accidentally in love!! Remember the times we sang to mr chua hahaha! Though we did not get honours this year, the experience was good nonetheless and even more memorable with all of you guys together in it :D

Four oh five :D I'm so glad to have grown closer to this class, there are times we get frustrated but many times when we have loads of fun. Playing in netcarn, cheering like we have never before and always doing stupid things :D I will remember our changing in class, our faulty whiteboard which countless teachers have tried to fix, our failed class decor haha, our national day fashion parade thing, our class chalet omg :D:D:D so funn, the H1N1 period and how people faked temperatures, cny and rushing down for recess but strolling in for class hahaha :D And our stupid pe classes - flying tennis balls, bad golf lessons hahahaha, bad football skills (shifting the goal post and cheating). There are just overwhelming stuff to mention and that I'll never forget those awesome moments :D:D

And so the list goes on for so many people I've gotten to know this year - aspen classmates, LDP groupies, juniors, seniors and everyone else who made this year so memorable, thank you! Everyone has a special place in my heart and it is such a pity the year flew by so quickly! Of course, this year on the whole though hectic was a super great experience, chionging for end of years, for o's, working like slaves for the pts and events, overseas trips and I learn to love the people around me even more <3!

As 2009 comes to a close, I only wish that 2010 gets even better and that I will not repeat the mistakes I made this year :D Have a very happy new year everyone!

Today's christmas eve :D Woke up slightly earlier than usual and cleaned the house before going out to ion orchard for shopping with both sisters and mummy. Mission: To get christmas presents for both mummy and jie. :D Had a super full brunch at Imperial Treasure and felt super bloated. After that, it was quite hilarious because ma asked me and jie to get present for jiejie and then jiejie asked me and jie to get present for ma. So the adventure began! Went to get macaroons for jiejie :D and a musical box for mummy! And it was quite easy to hide because just tell jiejie it's ma's gift and tell ma it's jiejie's gift :D While shopping, mummy found a dress which was quite pretty. Haha tried it and it looks good so got it :D It's like dress but the bottom is shorts-form. I think I'm done with new year shopping haha don't have many relatives whom we'll be visiting so one or two new outfits will do. 

Had no work today :D A good rest for my poor feet. Did wedding dinner drink server for the first time yesterday. Was attached to a very on-task aunty, so I learned a lot from her. And I poured chinese tea without spilling anything :D The guests look more or less satisfied I hope. Cocktail reception was only 45 mins, thankfully, or my wrist would have died. Everyone there knows me by wen qing's sister haha. Felt so crappy before work all thanks to the stupid breaking of glass in front of the guests on monday but managed to calm myself by listening to music and walking around raffles city where I bumped into a familiar face from fairmont but couldn't figure out who he was. 

Had absolutely no appetite before work so only had one subway cookie (felt like puking) and stoned in the canteen. Paid the price for that and was starving while staring at the 9-course meal served. I'm so grateful, all the aunties there are nice :D Even though I'm like the youngest around -.- and all of them including guests like to ask how old I am and what the heck I'm doing there haha. Did OT till 12.30, changed and ate two slices of bread. Took OT transport home and ate tang yuan (one day late hahaha). Going to grow fat from late-night eating ):

Anyway, after shopping today, went home to wrap mummy's present :D Met the zzz monster for a while in lalaland and woke up to drag myself to bathe before dinner. Was in drowsy state while bathing, I literally could fall asleep while bathing haha. Went to pick up my brother from swimming training, saw claire and anissa :D Headed for dinner after that. 

Came back from dinner and started opening up christmas presents :D I'm like damn damn shocked, my parents got me a crumpler bag haha for school next year :D Ma said too expensive can't buy then I thought I would have to make do with another bag and then :D YAY for awesome school bag next year! Aunty stella bought ice cream cake from swensens and we all ate it yum yum :D anyway I love the tune from mummy's musical box :D

Need to convince myself I can do it tomorrow even if I'm suay and am not attached to any aunty :D GO WENYAN :D Cross my fingers that I won't drop any glass tmrw or anything for that matter :D And that I'll be doing the same wedding as jiejie, please!! :D

free-falling @ 1.37am

Today was a funn day :D Woke up late because slept pretty late and did the usual thing - eat and mop floor. Rest for a while and went to school :D for meeting with fingers! Took loads and loads of photos and did stupid things like lying on the netball courts and on the track and climbing the rockwall :D And taking stupid photos :D Had super a lot of fun :D We also took a few videos to be watched by hifive and then went home. Had bubbletea from far east and took 54 home with veron :D 

I can't countdown on new year's eve heh. 

free-falling @ 10.10pm

Immensely insanely tired heh. I'm not that tired sleepy-ish, but my feet are sure tired (in actual fact, it's only my feet and back).

Woke up and sent christmas cards out, going to send out one more tomorrow. (:
Sped off to bedok for mini gathering, was really fun and awesome (: zongyu/zongzhen's house is da bomb! So so so so awesome and nicee, the kind of like your dream home! and zongyu has my dream room (: The house has great great view of the sea and singapore! Played rockband for a while, quite a long while and I failed like 3 times but luckily it was on medium so i'm not that fail hahaha. Stopped to eat lunch, yum yum <3 the food! And played a short short while of table soccer :D Played tai-ti (how to spell hehe) for a while and got damn high (damn or rather it was me and then I spread it to zongzhen hahaha). Played stupid and funny games like 'which mrt station will I be next' and 'bang bang who die' and 'around the world in 80 days' etc, super hilarious (: Changed and sped off in a taxi (: THERE WAS A STUPID JAMMM ): Reached at 4.45pm! Then rushed in to change pass, change uniform. Was on time for final briefing at 5 (:

Okay so first day of work, was pretty okay except for the embarrassing parts. First had to wipe the glasses and cups, then cocktail time ): Was pretty okay at first, but then I DROPPED A FREAKING GLASS ): And spilled over my uniform. Heh am super lucky I didn't do it on a guest, or I would have died. I kind of died of shock and embarrassment there, thankfully I willed my painful feet to walk to get help from someone, the stuff got cleared in the end and my tray cleaned and fresh, thanks to the nice aunties there :D I didn't know holding two glasses of drinks on an oval tray could be that heavy on one palm, it felt sprained after that! And like numb and like I couldn't move it properly ): After cocktail I was so happy to fly into the ballroom which looked so pretty. The huge huge ice carving literally took my breath away. I totally don't know how to pour red wine so hola! The aunty I was attached to did it :D heh. Helped to pour ice water and get drinks from the barman :D Then clearing plates, refilling and getting drinks for another 3 hours, WITHOUT sitting, my feet was breaking apart, seriously! Went to the toilet halfway and so many freaking idiots were smoking damn. Signed up for OT, but could only OT one hour. OT is much much much better, just clearing of plates and glasses! Went home by the chartered buses. Was so hungry I ate cup noodles, croissant, drank milk and ate a slice of honey cheesecake at like 1 plus am. Going to grow fat at this rate, eating so late. ): The food there looked soo good ): Neh, can't eat it.

I'm determined to go on, I can do it! But I hope I get attached to someone on the next try still, I'm such a nooooob, crabsticks! So glad that I had so much fun in the afternoon, gave me something to think about while brainlessly working and that was the bright spark of the day :D Awesome!

free-falling @ 2.49am

The weather these few days is really quite awesome, breezy and cool :D Can't wait for January to come, this year's January had the best mornings - cool and windy :D Had its fair share of rain rain rain but the wind made up for its downsides. I <3 standing at the windows at home or corridors outside the classrooms in school and feel the breeze on my face :D 

Guitar hero at Jiya's house was AWESOME :D We formed a band called Electric Sweatband! :D Failed at quite a number of songs but we were still very very high and kept playing, it's addictive I swear! :D We had our crazy photo bursts which were really hilarious! :D and our personal photo shoots for the band! :D And veron had this thing for jiya's toy gun hahaha, we did burst shots of her shooting us down :D Got cake and strudel and puffs for rachel's early birthday surprise! :D Haha, jiya screamed 'AHHHH!' and claire came out and said there was this big cockroach hahaha and rachel actually believed it :D Then sang song and took photos :D After playing until 7, me and jiya went to subway for dinner, shared a 6-inch sub! 

Went home from there and realised that my eyesight got worse and I couldn't figure out my bus number from far! Managed to take 171 to bukit timah there to get 852 or 74. BUT, I missed 852 because by the time I could see that it was 852, the bus just passed by ): And I flagged the wrong bus down!! I took 174 for two stops and quickly got down -.- then finally managed to get onto the right bus 74! :D Fell asleep in the bus and nodded off. Came home to find my mum hooked onto the wheel of fortune game on my brother's iphone. HAHA, played until his phone low batt :D

Tomorrow will be my first day at work, am crossing my fingers a thousand times harder that I's attached to someone nice who will not scold me if I happen to forget anything or do anything wrongly. (: Hope for the best!

p.s. fingers trip back to school (house shirt with skirt) on tuesday at 4.30pm :D meeting before work on wednesday at about 3! :D Teabreak with PGT on christmas day haha before work :D Need to get christmas cards!! (urgent)

free-falling @ 1.24am

BOF OST: One More Time (Eng Subs)

A day is so slow and hard
Because even when I try to show you all my heart
You cannot see
I just blame the time that has passed
Even though the season changes once again
I still remain sad

One more time
Although it hurts, I should have loved just a little more
I will laugh only for you and cry only for you
One more time
Like that fiery sun in the sky
I will love all of you and only you, forever
One more time

I miss your sweet face under the umbrella
Even though I wipe these tears
I still remain sad

One more time
Although it hurts, I should have loved just a little more
I will laugh only for you and cry only for you
One more time
Like the twinkling stars in the night sky
I will love all of you and only you, forever
One more time

Promise that we will share an identical tomorrow
Promise that we will share an identical happiness
Always by your side

One more time
Although it hurts, I should have loved just a little more
I will laugh for you, and cry only for you
One more time
Like that fiery sun in the sky
I will love all of you and only you, forever

One more time
Ah.. oh my love for you
One more time
Ah.. oh my love for you
One more time




It's such a sweet song (: I hope the english subs I got off from youtube (credit to smk102) are accurate though.
Woke up today and went for training for work next week :D I got so confused after a while, what with the cups and goblet and sherry and short and tall wine glasses, GABRA! And then I didn't know whether the guy was talking about lunch or dinner course or wedding or dinner and dance, i'm such a champion. Sitting there for 3 plus hours can get very tiring haha. 

Went into Raffles City to grab a bite, was feeling so hungry! Got a cold cut trio from subway :D yum yum! Oh and confirmed the familiar sightings of the subway guy from far east plaza! In actual fact, both the guys went there! Haha one of them asked me where my friends were and whether they knew they moved over to raffles city. Raffles city's one is so small ): Didn't have many seats, unlike far east's one! So ended up eating my subway sandwich while walking around the basement. Went into the marketplace to get chocs to munch on, ahh pig. Hmm shall go back on my subway dieting plans soon :D Going to work nearby anyway, but shall see how the free food at the hotel taste like first :D

Took mrt home and was so tired, zzz no seats on the mrt home ): Only from bishan to marymount but I couldn't sleep much. I zonked out the moment I reached home and slept for 4 hours! :D Was called up for dinner and was so reluctant to get up. 

Guitar hero date tomorrow at jeex house! :D

free-falling @ 2.21am